|| TL: miyakriko ||
“Fia, whats up why are you up at this hour?”
i greet the second girl who came to visit me at this hour
as soon as i opened the door, her face appeared as i expected from her voice
“well… i wanted to talk with sensei about something…”
“talk about something? alright, come inside for now”
i welcome Fia who might disappear to somewhere at any moment into the room
“yes, excuse me…”
Fia walks towards the chair with heavy steps just like this morning
when she reaches the chair, she sits down as if she collapsed on it
“here, drink this. it’ll help calm you down”
Isuna who seemed to have sensed her mood, starts pouring tea into a cup in front of Fia along with some words of concern
white steam rises from the warm tea and covers FIa’s face
“yes, thank you…”
Fia just expresses her thanks and looks down on the tea without touching it
she doesnt seem to care as to why Isuna is in my room
“so, what’s wrong?”
i sit back down to my chair and ask her across the desk
she doesn’t answer immediately and instead remains silent staring at her reflection on the tea
i can roughly guess what this is all about
however, i cant pry into the more sensitive parts
now i wait for Fia to speak
Isuna who’s also looks at her with a puzzled expression
“i…”
after a bit of silence
Fia slowly opens her mouth and begins to speak
“what should i do…”
“…that’s quite a vague question”
but what she wanted to say was painfully clear
no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t see a future for herself and that made her anxious
not only her words, but also her demenor conveys it as well
“i’m sorry. but i really don’t know what to do anymore…”
she tilts her face down even more
she seems to be worrying a lot
her usual soft and fluffy hair looks heavy as if to reflect on her current state of mind
“i see, you don’t know what to do anymore…”
“yes, i dont get anything anymore…”
“so does that mean you had a clear goal before you lost sight of it?”
“i wanted to be like my mother…”
she says in a faint voice that could easily be drowned out by the sound of breathing
Fia’s mother
this girl in front of me who’s hanging her head down, is the comeplete opposite of what i just found out earlier
it’s not suprising she admires someone like that, given her gentle personality
“i.. wanted to be strong… always full of confidence… just like my mother who’s admired by many… but… i realzed this morning it’s impossible for me…”
as she spoke Fia’s eyes welled up with tears that spilled onto the desk
“i don’t have magic talent like Femu-chan… or any athletic ability like San-chan… or even good reflexes… in fact even if i tried hard i can’t even use simple magic well… it’s like everything’s in complete darkness in front of me…”
sobbing cries echoes in this quiet room
although she’s older than both San and Femu, she’s the only one who hasn’t progressed while they quickly developed theirs
it’s my fault that i didn’t realize that behind that always cheerful and bright smile, Fia had a strong sense of inferiority and impatience
“so i thought… i should just go back and not be a bother to everyone anymore…”
“wa- wait a minute! what are you saying!”
before i could say anything, Isuna stood up and raised her voice
“but…”
“don’t but me! if you run away halfway it’s just going to make you look bad in front of father and Noin-sama, not to mention waste this guy’s effort!?”
Isuna raises her voice scolding Fia
“Isuna, calm down”
“but!”
“just calm down”
“…yes”
with that Isuna sits back down quietly
i understand that feeling, but i don’t think Fia mentioned this half heartedly
however, as their teacher i can’t accept this and remain silent
“Fia, its true you don’t have any talent in martial arts or magic”
i told her clearly
it’s a cruel and irrefutable fact that anyone can see
i thought so…
Fia sinks even further
however, i said that because i thought it would benifit her for now
of course, there’s no hint of sarcasm or contemmpt in it
“but, im glad you noticed that Fia”
“eh? glad…?”
Fia raises her face as if to confirm what i said
her eyes are bright red and swollen, with tear marks on her cheeks
“it’s important to recognize your weaknesses because it’ll help you find your true strengths. even though you haven’t been successful even with the efforts you put in, you still tried your best and recognized it”
as far as i know, she has been putting in a lot of effort in things she’s not good at
even though it didn’t bear fruit, her effort wasn’t wasted
“that’ll definitely help you in the future at the same time help you find what you’re truly good at”
“but… i can’t be like mom…”
“Fia does being like your mother mean following in her footsteps?”
without waiting for a response, i immediately throw out more words
“Fia did you only admire your morther for her exceptional skills, or did you admire her confidence and the way everyone respected her?”
if that’s the case, then it’s not really limited to only her mother’s skills in martial arts or magic
i continue while look straight into her eyes
“Fia, to me it looks like your only looking at one possible path while ignoring other possibilities”
there’s never only one path
as i speak, i say my words reflecting on my past self
this new path i had chosen is far more rough than before
this path might even lead to hell where no one can understand me
but even so i didn’t want to give up live with regrets
i want to make sure this girl can make a choice without regret as well
“but… i don’t know if there’s any other paths…”
“you don’t know that for sure, but i’m here to help you find out. did you know?”
as far as i know, there’s only so much i can do as on outsider to help address Fia’s concerns
however, even if im limited on what i can do as a outsider, i can still stand with her and help look for it together
that i believe is the important role of a teacher
“so why don’t we try together?”
“together… with sensei…”
“aah, are you worried with just only being me?”
when asked, Fia shook her head from side to side
“…it’s not just him. i’ll help too, so stop crying. and… sorry for yelling at you earlier…”
“Isuan nee-san…”
“here, drink it before it gets cold and not taste good anymore”
Isuna pushes the cup with her fingers and brings it closer to Fia
looking at Isuna who’s acting like a proper older “sister”, it’s clear she cares for her younger sisters greatly altough she may be strict at times
urged by Isuna, Fia wipes her eyes with the hem of her clothes then picked up the cup by the handle which is still slightly hot
as if she made a decision, she drinks it in one go
“…it;s delicious”
“right? if you drink my tea, any bad mood you have will disappear immediately. since your in charge of comforting our siblings, it’ll be a problem for me if you’re feeling down”
while saying that, Isuna refills Fia’s empty cup
the smell seems to immediately dispell her bad mood
“can you still keep going?”
i asked again
Fia nodded slightly while taking a sip of the now refilled cup
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